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In their letter, they were like, “Hey, it’s been awhile since you’ve given us money.” I was like, “Hey, it’s been awhile since you’ve housed and taught me.” I thought our transaction was over. She’s not gonna do anything else for you. Be a good alumnus.” And they wear shirts that say “School.” It’s like, look, if you’re an adult still giving money to your college, college is a $120,000 hooker and you are an idiot who fell in love with her. I have friends I went to college with who say, “Aw, you should donate. (Early in the setup, he establishes that Bittenbinder wears three-piece suits and a lot of hats.) Also, his Chicago accent is so grating and ridiculous that it must be accurate. Certain word choices that he uses, like “haberdashery,” make the character feel especially well-considered. Detective Bittenbinder feels fully realized here, so much that it seems like Mulaney has taken you into a lost SNL sketch. It often requires the performer to bounce back and forth between voices, to do just enough with one’s body to communicate the differences between the narrator of the story and the weirdo he or she is trying to mimic. And our teachers were like, “Write that down.”Ĭreating a memorable character inside a stand-up act isn’t simple. Then, when a guy flashes a blade, you go, “You want my money? Go get it!” Then you run the other direction. Well, in that split second, that’s when he’s gonna stab you. What do you do? You go fumbling for your wallet and you go fumbling for your wallet. Maybe that 8-year-old with the goddamn Aladdin wallet that only has blank photo laminate pages in it will be able to help.” Let’s say a guy pulls a knife to mug you. Street Smarts! Let’s say a guy pulls a knife on you to mug you, because you remember the scourge of muggins when you were in second and third grade. I will share some of the tips with you this evening. He would give us tips to deal with crime.
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Street Smarts! That was the general tone. But Mulaney is deft enough to make the whole thing more about his dad’s cluelessness about human sexuality (and the nature of art) than it is about “gay stuff being icky.” It also doesn’t hurt that Mulaney’s old man voice is one of the strongest parts of his whole persona.īittenbinder came every year, with a program to teach us about the violent world just outside the school gym, and that program was called Street Smarts! It’s time for Street Smarts with Detective JJ Bittenbinder. Wading into territory like this is tricky, as a joke of this nature can easily feel like it’s trading on tired gay panic tropes. What would Leonard Bernstein do?” I never talked to my dad about that, but I figured I’d tell all of you.
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How would that ever work? Like, years later, I’d be in college, about to go down on some rockin’ twink and I’d be like, “Wait a second. I don’t know if he was discouraging me from being gay or encouraging me to be a classical composer, but that is how he thought to phrase it to a 12-year-old boy. And according to a biography I read of him, when he was holding back the gay part, he did some of his best work.” Now, we don’t have time to unpack all of that. Hello, I’m Chip Mulaney, your father.” And he said the following: “You know Leonard Bernstein was one of the great composers and conductors of the 20th century, but sometimes, he would be gay. I was like 12 years old and my dad walked up to me and he said, “Hello.